


what it means to be a Singer

by randomfills (spnfanatic)



Series: Dreams of Tomorrow [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester-centric, Dean gets adopted by Bobby, Dean's past story, M/M, before 'save you', before Sam and Dean meet, verse, you can read this before save you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:08:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23099092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnfanatic/pseuds/randomfills
Summary: Set before ‘save you’. Bobby Singer finds a lost child behind his house. Karen tries to convince him that it’s a sign from God showing them they’re meant to be parents after all. Bobby really isn’t so sure but he loves Karen.very Dean-centricThis is a story in a series. You can read this before 'save you' but I recommend reading 'save you' at some point. This is A/U to the actual Supernatural series.
Relationships: Lucifer/Dean Winchester, pre Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Series: Dreams of Tomorrow [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1659937
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	1. little lost lamb

**Author's Note:**

> There's a sequel to _save you_ soon I think.

Bobby Singer thought he was a pretty simple man. He loved fixing things, cars, alcohol and of course, his wife, Karen. Not much more that a man could hope to ask for in life. But of course, Karen Singer, was the opposite of Bobby in almost every way. She wasn’t simple, she was complex, and she had complex needs. Like wanting to be more than just a wife. Which would be all well and good if she just wanted a job, go out to town and shop, make some more friends - because Bobby knew how lonely living at the junkyard could get. Bobby had been here since he was 18 so oh yeah he knew about loneliness. He wouldn’t stand in her way if she wanted all those things for herself.

Karen wanted something else though, something Bobby couldn’t give her - and he’d been trying for years now, been trying his damnedest since they got married 20 something odd years ago. She wanted a family, a baby. And God did he want that too, dreamt it night after night for years about Karen coming over to him to confess quietly that she was pregnant, that they were going to have a child and it wouldn’t matter if it was a girl or boy - he would take anything at this point, just to see her teary eyed, a big bright smile on her face, and he’d grab onto her and sob like a goddamn baby just from sheer happiness. 

Of course that was just a dream, a far off dream that he’d been chasing for so long he knew it would never happen. Bobby had come to accept it. It wasn’t easy but he knew a lost cause when he saw one. Still Karen held out hope every time they made love, and Bobby didn’t have the heart to break it each time she went to the bathroom with held breath and one of those small pregnancy tests. No matter how small, how fragile, how easily broken it could be. They never took Karen to a doctor to see what was wrong with her. Bobby just accepted it as nature’s way of telling them they weren’t meant to be parents. He still had his cars, his booze and his wife. Bobby, after all, was a simple man.

Then one summer night, he found him. A little boy with curly blond hair and huge green eyes curled in a little ball with his arms protectively wrapped around his knees, sniffling like he had been crying for some time. Bobby was more than a little perplexed. It was dark out, closer to dinner time and the chill of the night had the kid shivering. Which was understandable because from the looks of him, he was almost all skin and bone under the cargo shorts and tee shirt he was wearing. Bobby noticed the kid was barefoot as well, his toes curling in the dirt. _How long had this kid been hiding here?_

Bobby had decided to step out to take a look at some beater car one of his customers left earlier for him to fix. He heard the sniffling from behind the house and decided to check it out, walking slowly, cautiously, thinking maybe it was some stupid small animal that thought the junk yard would make a good hiding place. He had been more than ready to shoo off whatever was hiding there. He didn’t expect to see a kid.

Bobby found himself taking a small, cautious step forward, just as the kid’s head shot up to look at him. Tears were streaming down his face so yeah, Bobby had been right. Kid had been crying. He had no idea why. He held his hands out in a gesture that he didn’t mean him harm. The kid’s eyes darted around, clearly looking for a safe exit in case Bobby started to cause him trouble.

Bobby decided to slowly crouch down, the kid following his movements like a hawk, his arms trembling like he was getting ready to spring up.

“Hey, kid. I don’t mean no trouble,” Bobby said in a hushed voice. He didn’t want to spook the kid but the kid was looking at him skeptically now, like he wasn’t sure he could trust Bobby. “Look. I just came by here because I heard you crying.” The kid stiffened and he started to wipe furiously at the tears on his face. “I don’t mean that in a bad way,” Bobby said with concern in his voice. He sighed. He wished he knew how to talk to kids, but honestly, he didn’t think he’d ever have to, considering he and Karen’s predicament. And it wasn’t like his customers brought their kids up here all that often for him to practice his bedside manners. If only he could get Karen out here. She would know how to talk to this kid, have him less wanting to run.

The boy was watching him quietly as he wondered what his next move should be. Bobby sighed again, before deciding to just go for it. He would probably regret this later but for now it just seemed like the right thing to do. He offered his hand out to the kid, watching as the boy stared at it curiously, and said, “It looks like you might be running from something, boy, and as much as I want to get your story, I don’t think we should really be having that conversation out here in the freezing cold. So what do you say we get you inside and warm? Maybe have a cup of hot cocoa.”

The kid was still a little skeptical so Bobby tossed in, “My wife, Karen, makes a real mean apple pie - Trust me, kid, when I say it’s to die for.”

That surprised the kid and Bobby could see the twitch in his lips, like he wanted to smile. He stood up on shaky legs and Bobby waited, feeling like the kid would back out if he made any sudden moves. It took a few minutes but the kid stumbled over to Bobby and took his hand.

“Come on then, boy. We’ve got a nice hot cup of cocoa and a slice of heavenly apple pie with your name on it inside,” Bobby told him as he led them around the house and up the stairs.


	2. dinner with the Singers

Karen couldn’t believe what she was looking at. Bobby came stomping in, dragging dirt and mud on the floor, for which she wanted to smack him upside the head. She had spent all day cleaning and slaving in the kitchen, prepping for dinner, getting the dishes done, while he was outside playing with the cars as usual. What stopped her from giving him a taste of her wrath though was the little boy, nervous and shy and on the brink of crying, clinging to his shirt.

Karen took a deep breath, calming herself, as she looked pointedly at Bobby. Bobby shot her a nervous smile and shrugged unhelpfully.

“I found him,” Bobby said simply.

“You found a boy,” Karen said.

She watched as he scratched the back of his head. “Yeah,” he said. “He was hiding behind the house.”

Karen walked over and crouched down in front of the boy so they were eye level with each other. She couldn’t help but notice how beautiful and haunted those green eyes looked. Even under all the tears and grime, he was a nice looking kid. His freckles stood out against his pale complexion and his pink lips made him look almost like a girl. She vaguely wondered what he was doing all the way out here.

Sure people knew where the Singers lived. Bobby was the only town mechanic here in Sioux Falls, but they lived on the outskirts of town, surrounded by trees and wildlife. The only way in and out was an old unmarked backroad. No one bothered with the Singers unless they needed a car fixed. She wondered how this kid found them. It wasn’t unheard of for people to get lost and accidentally stumble upon the junkyard but those had been rare cases. Karen hadn’t seen a lost hiker in years. And yet, a little boy walking around barefoot, was able to wander onto their little property. 

“My name is Karen Singer,” Karen told him in a hushed whisper, like they were sharing a secret.

The boy, still clinging to Bobby’s shirt, peeked out a little. She could see tousles of blond hair bounce as he inched his way from his hiding spot. Bobby was looking on with a bemused smile as Karen held out her hand for the boy to shake.

She smiled and added, “This gruff old bear you’re hiding behind is my husband, Bobby Singer. We live in this house. What’s your name?”

The boy had been inching his way from behind Bobby while Karen talked. He was now completely unhidden, and said in such a low voice that she had to strain her ear to hear, “Dean.” He took her hand shyly and simply held it, unsure what else to do.

It was cold against Karen’s because he had just been outside. It was ok though because pretty soon Karen was warming him up and she could feel her heart flutter at the gentleness of his touch. There was a little boy standing inside their house, a boy whom Bobby had found hiding, lost, just outside on their property. And his name was Dean. She wondered briefly if this was a sign from God.

She snapped out of her thoughts when her husband cleared his throat. Both Karen and Dean looked up at him. “I told the boy - Dean - that you made one of hell of a mean apple pie and he could have some.”

Karen looked back to see Dean flush slightly. “He did,” he said softly.

Karen had to smile. “Well then I guess I better go make that pie. Wouldn’t want my dear husband to be made a liar.”

She let go of Dean’s hand reluctantly and stood up to prepare more food. She supposed they were having dessert tonight after all. 

Dean was quiet and polite, seemingly lost in his head, as Karen and Bobby took turns talking about their day. Bobby complained about the car left out front by one of his loyal customers, some guy whose name started with a ‘T’ maybe, Karen could hardly keep up with all the people that would come and go.

“I just cannot believe anybody could be that stupid,” Bobby spat, gesturing wildly to emphasize his frustration. “Who _forgets_ to check the oil for their car every once in a while? Of course your car ain’t supposed to sound like that, ya damn idjit!”

“Obviously he isn’t a car guy,” Karen replied, watching in amusement at the two different personalities at the table.

Dean was fidgeting in his seat, pushing around the cut up chicken on his plate with a fork. Bobby seemed a little too animated for the boy to know how to respond and Karen wondered if she was going to have to rein in Bobby just a little so that Dean could be more comfortable.

“No, obviously he ain’t. He’s a damn idiot is what he is. He’s also gonna need a new spark plug on top of that oil change. He don’t know a damn thing ‘bout cars. Why do they even let idjits like him drive on the road?” Bobby complained.

Karen sighed. “As much as I would love to spend the entire night debating on how much of an idjit some of your customers can be, do you think you could tone your voice down just a smidge? You’re scaring the poor boy, dear.”

That finally got Bobby to clamp up as he glanced over to Dean. “Oh, right. Sorry,” he mumbled, looking sheepish.

Dean shrugged, pushing around his food some more. “It’s fine,” he said quietly.

“No it’s not. You’re a guest here, son, and I was obviously scaring you. You don’t have to be so polite you know. I know I can get carried away sometimes,” Bobby said, taking a bite of his dinner. He looked at Karen, a fondness in his eyes that made Karen blush. “But Karen here always manages to pull me out of my damn tirade. And I love her with all my heart. You keep me grounded, you know, babe - it’s why I married you.”

Karen found herself smiling. Bobby, ever the charmer. He always seemed to know the right thing to say to dissipate whatever anger or frustration Karen was feeling. The love he felt for her could be felt through his words and she was suddenly reminded of their wedding night 22 years ago. She sighed, feeling like a girl with her first crush all over again.

“You’re such a charmer, you know that?” she told him, scooping up a spoonful of chicken and rice. She saw that Dean was looking at them curiously. She gave him a wink and said, “Don’t worry, Dean. You’ll be this lovey-dovey when you’re all grown up and meet that perfect person too.”

She couldn’t help but chuckle when the boy just wrinkled his nose in disgust and started to relax enough to eat. Dean was such a perplexing boy and Karen wondered how she was going to convince her husband they should take the poor boy in.


	3. once a Singer

According to Bobby Singer, Dean was officially a Singer too. He saw Bobby sitting in his office, filling out a giant pile of paperwork - more paper than Dean ever saw in one place in his whole 8 years of living. Then Bobby put all those paperwork he signed in a big folder and drove away for almost the whole day. He didn’t show up ‘til Dean and Karen were eating the really good homemade apple pie, the one Bobby bragged about the night he took Dean in. He was sure Karen made the best pie in the whole world. Bobby came back with this wide grin on his face that seemed to make his wrinkles disappear. 

“Bobby?” Karen asked, standing up. Her eyes looked hopeful as she took in his smile.

He walked over to them. Dean also stood as Bobby glanced from his wife to Dean. “C’mere, son,” he said quietly, just above a whisper and he swooped down to pick Dean up and spin him around, joyful tears running down brilliant blue eyes. “You’ve been adopted, boy. Ya hear me? You’re now Dean Singer!”

Dean blinked. A million different emotions rushed through him. He had been staying with the Singers for 3 weeks now. The first week went by in a blur as Karen and Bobby tried to find out online if Dean had any family. Dean didn’t remember his last name. He didn’t even think he had one. Bobby said everyone had a last name. It didn’t make a lick of sense that Dean didn’t have a last name. But Dean didn’t remember that or what happened to him before he wandered to the Singers’ salvage yard.

The next two weeks went by much the same way. Bobby went to Sheriff Mills and she tried her hardest to help. She asked Dean lots of questions he had no answers to and asked around and put his picture up but still no one stepped forward. She said that he needed to be put in foster care because he was under 18 unless the Singers wanted to adopt, since they had already filled the required paperwork years ago. Bobby just had to fill out paperwork for Dean. Mills said she’d give them a few days to think about it.

It seemed like a no brainer to Karen. There was a lot of back and forth between the two adults, a lot of hushed conversations behind closed doors. Dean wasn’t stupid. He may only be 8, almost 9, but he knew they were talking about him. He was a topic that came up a lot. He was the cause of heated arguments that could be heard from the kitchen when they thought he was playing upstairs, when in reality he had been sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees on the stairs.

Dean didn’t want to be a burden. He was planning on leaving the night before, but then he heard Karen crying, when he was heading to the kitchen. He wanted one last glass of milk before he went, maybe another slice of pie because Karen’s pies were always so tasty. Karen didn’t notice Dean. Dean could be pretty quiet when he wanted to be.

Karen had her back turned but Dean heard her sniffling. He froze, wondering why she was sad. There wasn’t a reason to be sad, unless she was sad about Dean, maybe because he was here and causing arguments with Bobby. Dean felt a little sad just thinking about causing so much sadness in the house. Bobby and Karen were lovely people. They were polite and loving to Dean. Karen cooked for him and made him apple pies, and Bobby showed him a few of the cars around the property. They didn't deserve to be sad. The thought had made Dean think his decision to leave was good for everyone.

He didn’t know where to go, just that he had to go.

Before he could move, Karen turned around and saw him. She wiped the tears from her face as quickly as she could and smiled, but it was too late if she was trying to hide her sadness from him. Dean already saw her crying.

Still, she asked, “Dean? Are you ok, dear?”

Dean couldn’t help it. He asked, “Why are you sad? Is it because of me?”

He watched as Karen’s eyes widened and she told him, “No! Heavens no. Dean, why on earth would you think I would be sad because of you?”

Dean shrank in on himself, wanting to make himself smaller. He had been sure she was crying because he was here. He flipped their lives inside out. He was just a strange little boy they found huddled behind their house. Their house, not his. Dean didn’t have a right to be here. Eating their food, sitting at their table, taking up one of their rooms. He had no right. He shrugged helplessly. “Because maybe I’m here,” Dean said simply, looking at the floor. There was a stain there from earlier. It looked like splatter of yogurt. He curled his toes. “Because you’re fighting with Bobby because of me.”

He heard her take in a sharp breath, saw her walk toward him and stop just in front of him, then suddenly he was engulfed in a tight hug, her long arms wrapping around his small frame. He stiffened in the embrace. He could smell her perfume and small hints of apple pie and cinnamon. This was Karen Singer. 

“I would never, ever be sad because of you, honey,” she whispered into his ear, her breath ghosting over his skin. “And Bobby would never, ever be sad because of you. You are the most precious thing to ever come to our life.”

Dean relaxed into the hug. He could feel tears welling in his eyes as he blinked. He didn’t ever want to leave here. “Can I…” he licked his lips, swallowed the lump in his throat. “Can I stay?”

“Yes. Yes, of course you can,” Karen said. There was absolutely no hesitation in her voice. Like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

And now Dean was a Singer. He could stay, officially, until he was 18.


	4. twinkling above

Bobby Singer knew Dean would grow up and be something amazing. He was as sure of it as the day he just knew he wanted to fix cars the rest of his life, as sure as when he saw Karen’s beautiful face for the first time in middle school and knew almost instantly she was the one, he was just as sure Dean was going to do something good with his life, be something better than Bobby. Maybe it stemmed from being a proud father because Dean was now in 8th grade and he was growing like a goddamn weed and he was flourishing and making friends and getting straight A’s. Maybe he was just becoming one of those parents who thought their child was ‘special’ and couldn’t possibly do anything wrong and therefore shouldn’t be held accountable for their actions if they messed up. But goddamn it, wherever that feeling came from, it was there. Ingrained in Bobby’s whole being.

It said ‘Dean Singer was going to be someone special. Someone the goddamn world could count on’. And damn it, Bobby was not going to cry. He was not. As Dean nervously waited for his name to be called, Bobby could feel the absurd urge to get out of his seat and run to Dean to give him a big goddamn hug, and ruffle his hair like he was still that 8 year old terrified boy who wouldn’t leave Bobby’s side for anything. He wanted to shout to the world, “That’s my boy! That’s my boy right there about to graduate the 8th grade!” He had to clamp down on all his urges because then Dean was being called to the stage to get handed his diploma and instead, he just squeezed Karen’s hand and turned to look at her, tears shining in the corner of his eye and whispered, “That’s our boy, sweetheart.”

And she smiled back and said, “I know.” And then she squeezed back reassuringly and went to watch as their boy walked across the stage, taking a small pause near the end, to look out into the crowd to try and find Bobby and Karen. Bobby could see when Dean spotted them because his eyes widened and he waved as he looked directly at them and Bobby had to wipe his eyes as he waved back, a smile so stupidly wide on his face he was sure he looked ridiculous. But he didn’t care. Because Dean made it through middle school. He more than made it. He graduated with honors and made lots more friends than Bobby ever did, if the encouraging slaps and high fives from his classmates were any indication, as he walked down the stairs. 

And god, Dean was smiling so brilliantly, so proud of his accomplishments - as he should be. He’d come so far from the shy little kid who spent half of his time in his room the first few months trying to adjust to life as a Singer. Sometimes Bobby could hear the kid crying, usually late in the night when he thought he and Karen went to bed. It would break Bobby’s heart. He wanted to knock on his door and ask what was wrong. He actually did the first couple times. But seeing Dean freeze up, his face flushed with embarrassment, clammed up or even worse was when he thought he’d done something wrong and Bobby was mad at him for some reason and he’d spend the next 10 minutes hyperventilating as he tried to apologize over and over and Bobby had no idea what to do. He didn’t have kids before Dean, didn’t know how to be a father, didn’t know the right words to say or things to do. He just froze up along with him, stared at him with wide eyes as the poor kid kept apologizing, until Karen went rushing past him after he’d taken too long to come back downstairs and she was the one who consoled him, taking him into her lap, gently rocking him and petting him and trying to get him to calm down.

Karen knew ways around a kid. Always had. Bobby always liked to think it was because she always wanted to be a mother, was desperate to be one, so all the maternal instincts came out in full force. She had that advantage over Bobby. And that was ok with him. He still got to teach Dean how to ride a bike, got him his first comic book (which he decided right away he loved Batman), got to teach him about sports and cars and of course, girls - though even now he was still a little iffy on (he was still in the whole ‘girls are gross, Bobby’ stage). Karen let him bake pies with her, and taught him how to sew (Dean’s idea) and talked about his day and how he felt about school. 

Recently, as in a few weeks ago, Bobby found out Dean liked to star gaze. He caught him a couple times outside after dinner, just looking up at the sky when it was clear and lots of tiny stars could be seen twinkling above. Bobby grinned when he saw Dean, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, his hoodie up to protect him against the chill of the night. He didn’t even notice Bobby until he was standing behind him and said, “Boo!” It made Dean jump and turn around with a glare that was cute on his normally innocent looking face.

“You scared the hell out of me, Bobby,” Dean told him, kicking a pebble on the ground.

Bobby raised an eyebrow. “Language, Dean. You don’t want Karen hearing you say that.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “It’s not a swear word.”

“It is to Karen.”

“Whatever. Sorry,” Dean grumbled.

Bobby wanted to roll his eyes but knew he couldn’t do that. He had to set an example to the 13 year old. He sighed instead, rubbing a hand over his face. He looked to see Dean still staring at him. “What are you even doing out here anyways?”

Dean turned to look back up at the sky. “I’m watching the stars. I think they look real pretty from down here. Don’t you?”

Bobby looked up and his eyes softened as he took in the countless twinkling little specks. “Yeah, guess they do, boy.” He wasn’t sure how long they stood there that night, felt like an eternity, though it was probably closer to 15 minutes. It had been one of the most eye-opening moments he had with Dean. Standing there quietly, with his hands resting on the boy’s shoulders as they watched the stars seem to twinkle and dance in the night sky felt like he had a glimpse of something amazing. 

_Dean’s soul_.

And it had to be the most special, precious thing he ever had the blessing of gazing upon.


End file.
